Sunday, October 9, 2011

Some of what led up to This Point - Part 2

I was reluctant, afraid even, to leave everything that I know and love behind. The concept of going all the way to Colorado was daunting, but I knew that if the Lord asked us to go, we would. I was a huge fan of working for Compassion, but not for taking a leap that huge.

"Coincidentally," I started reading the book Experiencing God at this same time. The lessons that God taught me in the next two weeks are a story in and of themselves. Basically, at the end of two weeks, the Lord had dramatically given me a change of heart. I was confronted with a realization: If I truly believed that God was Who He said He is, then I would do anything that He asked me to to, right when He told me to, without question. He has the right to interrupt my life at any moment and require adjustment and immediate action. Who do I really believe that God is? (These thoughts were from Chapter 1 in Experiencing God)

  • God is love: His will is always best. 
  • God is all-knowing: His directions are always right. 
  • God is all-powerful: He can and will enable me to accomplish His will.
If I truly know God, I will know His love. If I know His love, I will love Him in return. If I love Him, I will trust Him. If I trust Him, I will obey Him implicitly. Knowing God leads to obedience.

I reflected a lot on how I have experienced God in the past. Who had He proved Himself to be? I have shared some of what the Lord has taught me in becoming a mother. Likewise, in all of my major life decisions and "crises," crisises? He has always clearly led the way in Scripture, always provided for every need and always proved Himself faithful, and worthy of absolute trust. He was telling me that He was Enough, and that He was the Way.

I felt very strongly that the Lord was preparing my heart for another major step. I felt that it was too coincidental that the Lord would be moving my heart in this way right at the time when we were looking into moving across the country. It appeared that this dramatic change was the direction He was taking our family, and at the end of those two weeks, I felt ready to take that step.

God was going to call us to have faith in Him, and somehow sell our house, leave our people, and move across the country! Some of our closest friends and family were praying with us, and they all felt excited about this possibility with us. It may appear that we were banking to much on a slim chance, but too many things were pointing in that direction for it not to be the Plan. Right?

Then Ryan got an email. The position had been filled, and suddenly, the Plan was no longer so clear. God was not calling us to make a major move like that. His timing had not yet come, and we still had no idea how or when He was going to provide. Early in September, I started working a few hours a week as a reception assistant and interpreter at my old place. We were down to our last bit.

Last year, we had applied to work overseas in the mission field. We were looking at every possibility. Nothing resulted from that attempt at finding where the Lord wanted us, and we literally heard nothing back. Then, a few weeks ago in September, Ryan got an email. Did we want to go to Seoul, Korea in December for a year to teach English and lead Bible Studies? This "made sense!" This was the kind of "major life adjustment" that the Lord had prepared me for.  We could rent out our condo for a year and serve in Korea, doing something that mattered. I would be able to be with Leilani, Ryan would be able to be with us more, and our financial needs would be met. A year away from family would be hard, but what a great experience! So we quickly responded, and wanted to verify that they had considered that we had a toddler. "I will get back to you on that," was the only response before we were left again to hear nothing. Hello?

Tired yet of this never ending saga? Just wait, there is oh, so much more. 

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