Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The Leap into the Great Adventure (Part 3 of the saga)

On September 19th, things went majorly downhill at work for Ryan. Majorly. Again, no words can adequately convey the awful that went down. Short: Supervisor (who has long displayed that she is threatened by Ryan's abilities and diligence) was in fine form. This supervisor has tried on numerous occasions to either get Ryan to quit, or to get him fired. We have arrived at "I can't go back there another day, I am going to resign," multiple times in the past, and we had arrived there again. Tuesday was another day of awful, so much so, that he left half a day early. "Ruth, I am serious this time. I am going to resign. I have to," was the phone call I received at the mid day hour of 12.

Was it finally time? Things always simmered down in the past, and the Lord had never given the "Ok" before. I dreaded yet another discouraging stretch of waiting on the Lord to show us the next step. I felt ready to leap, if the Lord would say "This is MY plan, I will catch you!" To do something as crazy as resigning from our only job with a mortgage and family, with no survival plan, could only be done if it was God's crazy plan.

Car-less that morning (our one and only was off being worked on), I waited for my mom to come so we could pick Ryan up from the metro. I felt close to tears on the way to. This supervisor has the talent of being able to work me into a state of absolute rabid rage unchristian anger in under 60 seconds. Watching from the sidelines as Ryan was smooshed under her acrylic, taloned thumb yet again for doing his job well was infuriating. She had gone behind his back to turn his newish "big boss" against him as well. She was an expert at crafting a false image of Ryan for the new guy who did not know him. She fed him false information, and the happenings of that day were perfect to use as apparent confirmation for her tales. I felt ready to march down to D.C. and z-formation her in the face with a "Mm Mm, no you DIDN'T!" And a few other choice words of great severity.

Enjoy this demonstration.


Into the car, he eventually was. (Hurrah for awkward syntax there...) And God had done SPOKE y'all.

"So it is time to resign guys. God said so while I was on the metro." He said. While on the way to us, Ryan decided to listen to the last podcast on his ipod, which was a reading of Psalms 102 and 107. While he was beyond ready to resign and leave this entire mess far behind, Ryan knew he couldn't. On his mind was the specific concern of Leilani and all other future Abels that we one day hoped would exist. How could our family continue at all or ever expand if we had to live in a box on the side of the road? (Dire, but hey, its the outcome of being jobless right?) We would wander about as homeless, starving nomads with no future. It helped that it was gloomily raining. Perfect for gloomy pondering.

It seemed that the Psalmist knew exactly what Ryan felt that afternoon.

"Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry for help come to you. Do not hide your face from me when I am in distress. Turn your ear to me; when I call, answer me quickly. For my days vanish like smoke;
my bones burn like glowing embers. My heart is blighted and withered like grass... All day long my enemies taunt me; those who rail against me use my name as a curse... My days are like the evening shadow; I wither away like grass." Psalm 102:1-11

Oh David. Spot on. But then, he ended his lament with this:

"But you, O Lord, sit enthroned forever; your renown endures through all generations.You will arise and have compassion on Zion, for it is time to show favor to her; the appointed time has come. 

He will respond to the prayer of the destitute; he will not despise their plea. Let this be written for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the Lord: “The Lord looked down from his sanctuary on high, from heaven he viewed the earth, to hear the groans of the prisoners and release those condemned to death.” ...The children of your servants will live in your presence; their descendants will be established before You." Psalms 102:12-28


When God speaks, He makes Himself heard loud and clear. His Word is living and active, and it spoke immediately to the exact concern that Ryan was thinking over. 

"Ryan, I have heard your cry. I am responding. The appointed time has come for me to show you favor and release you from your prison. I am doing this so that your future generations may praise Me. I am going to provide for your family, even for children yet to be created. I am their Provider. Not you." 

He was blown away. But God was not done. If we left our job, we would be immediately out of funds. We live in a city that is already hard enough to sustain a family on a single income. We would very quickly be left without a place to call home or a way to even get groceries without a weekly paycheck. As if God was not aware of our situation. The podcast continued in Psalms 107,

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. Some wandered in desert wastelands,
finding no way to a city where they could settle. They were hungry and thirsty, and their lives ebbed away. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He led them by a straight way to a city where they could settle. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men..." 

"Ryan, you have felt like a wanderer for a long time now. You have felt that settling here was not best for your family, but until now, I have not led you elsewhere. But you have called to Me and asked that I would lead you. I am going to lead you by a straight path, on you are on already, to a city where you can settle. I love you with an unfailing love. Trust me." 

When Ryan finished sharing what the Lord had told him, my mom said "Guys, I felt the Lord impressing this on my heart this morning for you, and now I know why." She had been reading the first chapter of Nahum. And this is what it said:

"The Lord is slow to anger and great in power; the Lord will not leave the guilty unpunished. His way is in the whirlwind and the storm, and clouds are the dust of his feet. 

The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him, but with an overwhelming flood... he will pursue his foes into darkness. Whatever they plot against the Lord
he will bring to an end; trouble will not come a second time. From you, O Nineveh , has one come forth
who plots evil against the Lord and counsels wickedness.
This is what the Lord says: “Although they have allies and are numerous, they will be cut off and pass away. Although I have afflicted you, O Judah ,
I will afflict you no more.
Now I will break their yoke from your neck and tear your shackles away.

We were amazed. That morning, before we even knew what the day held, the Lord was speaking to my mom so that she would have the words we needed that afternoon, to know what the Lord would have us do. He was telling us that HE was our refuge in the midst of this whirlwind, and although things felt crazy, HE would have His way. He would utterly cut off these people who sought to do Ryan harm, the plotting and the "counsel of wickedness" would not be let to stand. God was telling us that though He had allowed Ryan to go through this difficult experience with his job, the time for it had ended. He was breaking the yoke from Ryan's neck and setting him free. 

As I said, when the Lord speaks, you know He spoke. There was no question in our minds, the time had come to resign. 

The leap the Lord was asking us to take was far bigger than I imagined it would be. He was not merely asking us to follow Him away from our current job to another, He was asking us to resign with nothing else in front of us, and to trust Him to provide for our future and family. It would not really have required a whole lot of faith to go from one job to another. Faith is being "certain of what we can not see." He was asking us to jump off the edge with no distinct end in sight and to trust Him to catch us. 

Wednesday was truly terrible. Things intensified and there was not even time to type out a note of resignation. Believe it or not, he spent the whole day working. Hard. Fixing problems all day without taking a lunch. In the midst of all the accusation, he was still determined to to his job right. 

Thursday morning, Ryan prepared to give his two weeks, but decided to make one last attempt at resolution to the ugliness that had grown between him and his two supervisors. During this meeting, he was accused of things that had not in fact occurred. His supervisor was silent and did not offer any simple correction of the facts but merely shrugged as Ryan attempted to reconcile this guy with the truth. Convinced in a false image of Ryan that hand been hand crafted by his talloned right-hand colleague, his "big boss" would have none of it. Ryan offered his resignation and the conversation ended with a spat out "You can give your resignation to your supervisor. Don't worry about two weeks either. Today can be your last day. Make your note short." A sigh and shrug of the shoulders from his supervisor. An immediate followup meeting with her bordered on humorous. Essentially it went like "aww Ryan are you sure you want to resign? You have a family! Are you going to be ok? But things are pretty bad here. You really need to be praying." Oh lady, you have no idea. 

Hours later, the resignation had been handed in. Paper work had been processed. Ryan had been walked out, and he was a free man. 

I feel like this all may sound over dramatic. And I am restraining myself from going on about how proud I am of Ryan and the way he handled himself, how he did his best before the Lord till the end. Trust me, it was dramatic, and Ryan is amazing, and this really is as condensed as I can get! *insert obnoxious "lol" and smiley face here*

So that brings us to the edge, off of which we jumped, into the great unknown! 

Next Up: The direction we started to fall, and the lessons we are learning along the way.

1 comment:

  1. Poor Ryan. How could anyone treat him that way or talk to him that way? Very mean and unprofessional. So sorry for everything. I pray God will lead you every step of the way.


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