Friday, June 29, 2012
Sunbeams and Grace
I have never been a summer fan. It gets hot in Maryland, but somehow, it feels more intense here. When I first came to Memphis, I was sure I would melt into a sticky puddle, that I would never be able to accept this southern summer and that I would be confined to the reaches of my air conditioning. When the AC broke in our car, I felt that I would evaporate for sure.
But in keeping with the pattern of our story so far, I have instead found His grace, waiting to meet my expectations. Summer has enveloped, but this year, I feel embraced rather than smothered. The sun shines bright, rather than glares, and I suddenly find that summer seems to dance. It almost feels alive these past few days, breathing hot, glistening, shimmering off of the air itself. Its weight is a tangible presence, drenching us in perspiration within minutes of stepping into its gaze. But the whispering, occasional breeze wafts by, bringing a coolness that can only be experienced in the midst of a flushed heat. Summer has not changed, but I think my heart has. He has given me the grace I needed to stand up under a hot summer sun.
We left Maryland a month ago, headed towards a home we did not really know or understand, flying along on this Great Adventure that seemed overwhelming. But from the first hour of our departure, we met with Grace. His Faithfulness has brought us here, to home. Our hearts miss the pieces we left behind with the nearness of our loved ones, but He has spared us from the ache that I so feared. Instead, I feel the warmth of their love that has traveled this distance with us. It closes the separation and fills it with nearness. We are so thankful for the friendship and family that has prepared us for all of this newness.
We took a leap into an unknown future last September, and many others came before. Following the Lord to Memphis seemed so difficult. But His grace wrapped us from behind and pulled us along every step of the way.
Just a month later, we can already see many of the fruits of His plan. He is faithful. His lovingkindness knows no limits.
We have been here mere weeks, and I feel that my horizons have opened up, and the sky seems higher. I no longer feel limited and held back in my day to day. I feel much more free than I have ever felt as a mother. I feel full.
We sat around a table full of smiles and laughter at lunch today during a break in Ryan's classes. Around the room, Leilani ran, often chased and twirled by new friends, all godly people that I already admire and respect. Only days later, and the day to day companionship and camaraderie is unlike any I have experienced before.
He is so good, and I am so thankful.