Monday, February 18, 2013

To My Ezra

Darling Little Boy.

Do you know that your Mama is absolutely, head over heels in love with you? I have never seen your face, never kissed your cheeks, and I can only assume that you have all 10 toes, since I have never counted them to make sure. Even so. You thrill me, child. I am utterly captivated.

I suspected your presence, several weeks before I knew for sure that you were on your way. My heart was ready for you; the Lord had been pushing back its perimeters to make a you sized space for months. When that little fate-holding stick clearly beamed the word I was eager to see, I sat on the floor and wept tears of joy. You were not even the size of a tiny, green pea, and your Mama loved you.

Your big sister lit a fire in my heart that you have made burn even brighter. She made me a mother, and taught me about what true love really looks and feels like. God used her to begin the melting of my heart, and now He has given me you to help her. I am ready little one, so ready to love you.

You have made yourself quite comfortable, nestled in my middle, and every resulting ache and uncomfortable moment that I feel, is absolutely worth it. Your little body has stretched mine in unalterable ways. My skin bears the marks of your growth, forever streaked by every gained pound, every added inch, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

For 33 weeks, your Creator has been intently crafting your every detail. I am so in awe that He would choose to paint the masterpieces of you and your sister, in me. I can not wait to see you two, sitting side by side, learning from one another and growing in tandem.

You are so strong, my little son. I am amazed by the force of your movements, the determination with which you strain against the confines of my belly. You are already a force to be reckoned with. I pray that the Lord will be your strength, even now, and that from your first breath, He would fill your every molecule with His presence.

Your Dada and I chose your name with great intention and prayer. We asked that the Lord would name you, and we believe that He has. The man you were named after was a man of great bravery. His steadfast commitment to the word of the Lord, deep confidence in His power and unwillingness to back down, changed an entire generation of his people. Ezra called God's people to stand apart, to separate themselves from the surrounding cultures, people and practices that drew them away from the truth. He stood up and demanded that they live according to a higher standard, and to look different from everyone around them. They had begun to blend in, and he reminded them of who they were and of who their God was. And the people listened. They were deeply convicted, and they changed. Ezra was not a great man who effected great change because he was strong in and of himself. He was strong because his God was strong. He was brave because the Lord gave him courage. He spoke out against the complacency of his generation because he was looking heavenward, and saw a great disconnect. We pray that like the man we named you after, you too would be a man who stands with integrity and courage in a generation that is complacent and wayward. We pray that the Holy Spirit would fill you with the same fire that changed an entire generation. We pray that you would never speak and move in your own strength, but that with unshakable conviction, you would hold fast to the Rock that is Higher.

Our hearts are full of you, my son. We can not wait for you to make your way into our arms. You are already so loved and so cherished, both by us and by your Savior.


Your Mama


  1. Ruth, you're such a great mom. Your beautiful daughter and soon-arriving son are so blessed to have a mama that loves them as fiercely as you do. More importantly, those kids are blessed to have parents who love and serve the Lord as faithfully as you guys do and who will teach them about the awesome greatness of our Savior. It's truly inspiring. Keep up the good work! :)

    1. Aw thanks so much Jenn. Hopefully I won't mess them up too bad haha cause Lord knows, my mothering sure does need work! Thankful for His and her grace :)

  2. You are truly an inspiration to all moms. Your love for God and your family is so powerful, and it shines throughout all you say and do for them! I love Ezra's name and the meaning behind the choice. God bless you, Ryan, and Leilani. I can't wait for little Ezra to come!


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